Cheryl Besner: Who falls in love faster – men or women?
You are not going to believe the answer!
It is commonly believed that women fall head over heels in love faster than their male counterparts. But according to a study done by Lisa Daily, author of six books on relationships, men often know that they are falling in love with somebody after as little time as 3 dates! Women, on the other hand, take longer, reporting the same feelings around date 14.
I bet that came as a complete surprise to most of my readers, especially you gentlemen!
So, what is it that can trigger a man’s attraction so quickly? What is that woman exuding or stimulating within him that has him (almost) at “hello”?
If you want to make this the year you have a man fall in love with you, it’s important to understand a man’s basic instincts and how to communicate you intentions and desires in a way that he will recognize.
He must experience the following from the woman of his dreams:
1) Men are motivated by a need to Provide and Protect. He needs to sense that you need him and will rely on him. This doesn’t mean you need to be clingy – on the contrary, actually! Men have been hunters since the days of cavepeople. Thankfully, we’ve made some progress since then, but they still tend to harbour that primal “Me Tarzan” instinct. Many of my female clients have told me ” I don’t need a man,” and while technically that may be true (you don’t NEED a man like you need oxygen!) it can come across as a front – and certainly a turn-off when spoken on a date. You would be surprised how many women start off a promising evening with that line in an attempt to assert their independence!
Suggestion: On your next first date, ask for your date’s help with something. Then watch his body language. His shoulders will usually broaden and his face will light up. He wants to be your superhero!
2) A man needs to feel safe in your arms. I am not suggesting you go to the gym and pump up! Rather, soften up and let him know he can curl up into you at times when he feels vulnerable. He needs to know that he can count on your strength and support, no matter what. As much as he must be your ROCK, you must be his CUSHION! You are the one he will turn to and with whom he will share his innermost feelings. He wants you to be the wind beneath his wings!
3) A man wants to know who you are. Feeling is a sense, not a thought, so open yourself up and let him in. He needs to connect and tune into to your emotions. He needs to see the strong, autonomous, authentic woman you are – and a man knows when he is being mislead, so don’t try to be something you’re not! There is nothing more attractive to a man that a woman who has her own identity. He won’t fall in love with a chameleon!
4) A man wants to be appreciated and praised. (Don’t we all!) There is nothing more empowering to both partners in a relationship than to hear from the other when they have done something thoughtful. It can be a simple as thanking him for getting you a much-needed glass of water or helping you to write the paper that got you an A+. Saying “I couldn’t have done it without you” shows how much his support means to you. Men also like to be complimented as much as we ladies do about their appearance, so don’t be shy! Mention how sexy he looks tonight and enjoy his reaction!
5) A man, like a woman, likes good sex. Have the confidence to explore your sensuality and sexuality together. Open communication about needs and desires can elevate a relationship, while the reverse can easily tear it apart. Sex is a huge part of any union, and if a man falls in love with you, he is looking to make love to you forever – so make it amazing for you both.
While there are many layers to all of what I just mentioned, these five essentials points are a great place to start! If you want more details or just need some advice, call me at 844-744-SOLO or write to me at info@solointhecity.tv. I’m here for you!
And don’t forget to tune in to CJAD800 tomorrow at 10 PM for another exciting hour of Solo in the City Radio!
– Cheryl xo
