“Power House Love”
Do successful and career-oriented women have trouble dating, finding love or making relationships last? Is it true that they tend to intimidate men?
“I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan…and never let him forget he’s a man”
Successful women flex their masculine side when having to be directional, assertive, analytical, or negotiate and use their feminine side when needed to be open, yielding, receptive, nurturing and warm.
Cheryl: “A lot of women who are successful in business think that they have to be like that at all times and the fact is they also forget that they can carry their femininity into the workplace …it’s not a negative, it’s a positive, blending the two in both worlds is really where your strength comes from.”
To play in the sandbox of the business world, which was at some point dominated by men, fostering this masculine edge is necessary to be effective, earn respect, and push through the challenges of being a woman in a “man’s world”. But it can become problematic for your love life if there is too much of an imbalance and if you’re incapable of leaving the “boss girl” attitude at work.
Caroline: “The biggest mistake I think for a woman is to behave like a man in the workplace, I mean yes you need to be strong and sometimes make difficult decisions, you need to be assertive, you need to be self confident but then there are so many objectives that are so typically feminine that actually allow us to go a step beyond, like for instance empathy, having a democratic leadership…I think we’re more progressive on certain levels…”
Dan: “Men would love to describe themselves as successful but not necessarily loving and caring…”
Rucsandra: “Women want to be loved…we have to be tough and sometimes we have to be like a man…because that’s the world we are living in, you are leading people and you have to be tough and be powerful, but then you go home and you have to be loving, soft, caring and nice…”
Caroline, Cheryl, Dan, Rucsandra.
At times, women who are very accomplished tend to have very high expectations in a mate; perhaps a little unrealistic. In general, it’s challenging to find someone who fits the desired “relationship shoe” and who seems perfect for you as there’s a difference between dating and being in a relationship.
Cheryl: “Women are having a hard time finding a datable man…they wanna find a man who’s on the same financial level or professional success or above …so they’re gonna have to make choices…”
Caroline: “I’ve had men in my life who were not that educated or that successful, but were so supportive that first of all they were grounding me and second they were allowing me to do what I had to do…”
Successful women may have a smaller dating pool because they won’t necessarily “date down” financially like many men are willing to do. Remember, instinctively men are providers and protectors so if they meet a woman and fall in love, making up the difference in financial capabilities and responsibilities sometimes is a natural instinct so that they can live the lifestyle they desire and work hard for. We see way more men dating women who don’t have big careers or job titles than the other way around. What the men are actually seeking is a strong minded, independent woman who will be supportive, nurturing and nice.
Caroline: “I think the minute that I feel…that a man thinks that he’s in competition with me, I know that it’s not gonna work out, because then they start calculating, instead of being proud of you and happy for you…they’re frustrated…dating is one thing…with relationships, other ingredients come into it…it gets complicated…sometimes you’re interested in a fun, loving, sweet guy but the type of trips you take, he can’t afford…so what do you make of this…”
Rucsandra: “It depends what type of relationship you are looking for, if you’re looking for a day out, fun or what they call friends with benefits…you can pay for it…if you look for a relationship… the ego of a man is very sensitive, the fact that you support him, that you pay for him, it makes him feel bad and eventually it will diminish the relationship…definitely…that’s how I perceive it…”
Dan: “I see a woman…think she’d be fun to go have dinner with…but then one day she’ll say hey let’s fly off to Mexico, I’ve got reservations at a five star resort…and then I’ll say ok… who’s paying…and maybe say I can’t go…”
Cheryl: “I think that in a relationship, whether somebody is a professional or on the same financial level, how you balance that out and how you encourage each other to be bigger and stronger is what counts and whatever that means to you…”
Does success in one’s career change the way we act in love and relationships? Balancing work and relationships can be quite challenging and stressful as a woman when trying to juggle motherhood, family life and work all at once. Do women have the same level of success because they are generally more organized and able to handle more on their plates?
Rucsandra: “Unfortunately lots of men think that successful women are not loving and caring…they think successful women come home, they have an army of maids giving orders… …it’s not true…lots of successful women come home cook, take care of their house, take care of the children, have maybe a pet, they love their husband if they have one and if they don’t love their kids, their friends…”
At the end of the day, regardless of your gender, if you bring your work and stress at home, it can be detrimental to your relationship. As a woman, if you’re unable to switch off from work, you won’t be able to communicate your gentle and feminine side to your family. So it’s important to apply the same skill set that makes for a successful career to your relationship.
You would be surprised to know that men aren’t after all your accomplishments or job title if you are a powerful career woman. They look to find someone to love and who will love them back. Men will get emotionally attracted to a woman when they notice something unique about their personality, that special something that stands out beyond the looks. That is when a man will consider having a serious committed relationship and vice versa, for the woman who’s busy closing deals and hopping on planes. Safety and security are triggers for men to love.
Rucsandra: “I believe in destiny a lot, I believe that there is somebody there for you eventually…if that person comes up, you adjust your schedule, you adjust your goal and you make it happen because you feel that that’s your match and I can’t lose that opportunity because I don’t know when that’s gonna happen next time… of course I would like to have somebody who lives a nice lifestyle but that’s not a condition…”
Cheryl: “It’s about your values, lifestyle and goals, ultimately it’s about where you want to end up…. where you want to be…we’re supposed to let the people that are in our lives know that we’re going to care for them and attend to their needs…it means that you want to make them happy…the best thing about seeing somebody smile is knowing that you help put the smile on their face…”
Personality is so important when looking for a relationship, both for men and women. When you’re creating pleasant moments or investing in someone, you shouldn’t let your career cloud your love life. People care about how you make them feel when they are with you, how you add value to their life and how you nurture the relationship. Being successful in a career and a relationship is definitely a great balance and accomplishment.
You don’t need to downplay your success to find a good partner as life is about keeping a balance. Priorities; do not to focus too much on money and see what can develop between you and the person you’re investing your time in without a price tag hanging over your heads.
If you need any dating advice or my support in your love life, please do not hesitate to reach out to me 1-844-744-SOLO (7656). I promise to keep you on your toes and “up to date”.
Cheryl xo
