“Myths and Truths about relationships”

Times have changed and so have our perceptions about relationships. Social networks and all the dating sites may still have their share of players or heart breakers, but there are a lot of nice men and women out there looking for genuine relationships.

When it comes to the behavior of men and women in relationships, everyone has an opinion and usually, it’s about how the sexes are different. Often, they’re more alike than we think, and our common assumptions are wrong. There are a number of myths about dating, love, and sex but are they really true? I always say, don’t make assumptions!!!

Cheryl: “The comments that I get all the time from clients… there’s no good men… there’s no one left out there… I’m never going to meet a like minded person like myself, very limited belief…or that men only want to date younger women.”

Natalia: “For women it’s being closed minded, not open minded enough to date certain types of guys…mindset, having a good attitude around love and dating… and men being driven by attraction…”

Shanny: “They have that fear of asking a guy out, that they are too old, no one’s gonna love them, having children is a burden, it’s weird to talk on the phone cause everyone’s texting these days, and that you can only find love online as opposed to really utilizing the other dating platforms such as matchmaking…”

The dating world has definitely evolved with all the dating sites and apps available at our finger tips. Online dating has made it more challenging to have real connections with people as there is a lot of competition out there and it’s easy to get off track and lose focus at times.

You can bump into people from all walks of life online but if you want to meet someone, you have to be willing to put yourself out there as there are good people online. All you have to do is be cautious while flipping through online dating profiles and do all your usual checks before you meet someone on a date.

Cheryl: “Branding yourself, that personal branding is what makes you different from everyone else , its everything about you…they way you walk, the way you talk…what you put out there…but it’s really the mindset…”

Shanny: “It’s about how you carry yourself, being single is a brand, figure how do you represent yourself online, are you feeling your best, looking your best and know that it is a competitive world out there and you have to put your best foot forward…how are you representing yourself on social media.”

Natalia: “What an opportunity we have now with social media…someone can meet you in person and have that first impression but then they get to round it out with everything that you’re putting online…”

We shouldn’t make decisions about relationships based on gender stereotypes. Some are flat out wrong, but even if there is a little truth to them, they are exaggerated and not constructive in dealing with the unique individuals with whom we have relationships.

Both men and women value attractiveness and perhaps men value it a little more but not that much more. At the end of the day, men love being with smart, intelligent women that they can relate to if they’re really looking for a relationship as there is big difference between dating someone and wanting a relationship.

Unfortunate dating misconceptions flow frequently and there are many common dating myths surrounding the soul-searching singles. You can’t have that jaded attitude if you want to meet someone and must keep your bad experiences behind you. Be proactive and date with a positive attitude!

Cheryl: “Older men younger women, what it comes down to it, they really want somebody who can be part of their experiences…its freshness, they like the fresh attitude of somebody young…”

Shanny: “I always ask my clients what are your top five attributes? Those are things that you should know off the top of your head…you can ask your friends how you would best describe me when creating your profile… it’s also important to ask people what do you give back to society…are you volunteering…extra curricular activity…this is very appealing to women…this enhances your brand.”

Natalia: “People are attracted to vitality and being radiant, loving your life…all the things that are associated to youth…”

Shanny: “Women wanna feel safe…so do men…a lot of times, women’s guard is up….it’s about connecting mentally and emotionally…”

To build a relationship that’s based on equal footing, strive for balance and compromise when it comes to conversation, dates, and responsibilities. Dating is for everyone and you should fall in love with dating. It’s not just about singles. If you’re in a relationship, you have to keep that romance going, keep things alive.

Shanny: “Chivalry is not dead…men are still practicing it…these men do exist and as women we have to have an attitude of gratitude…for example, say thanks when they open the door or for checking up on you when you get home…”

Cheryl: “Men love to please a woman, that’s a fact when you compliment them, you’re encouraging them to do it again…everybody likes to feel appreciated…men and women…”

Natalia: “Things have become easy so men feel that’s it’s not appreciated…it’s important to build attraction…”

When you’re going out on a date, you have to show up looking and feeling your best, like you made an effort and that you want to be there. How else will you leave an impression? When we show up for a job interview, we make sure that we’ve done our homework and that we are presenting our best self to make a statement in hopes of landing that job.

So why shouldn’t we apply the same efforts if not more so when dating and looking for that special someone? What is your state of mind when you’re off to meet your date?

Natalia: “Be open, if you feel it’s a good person and your values are aligned, be open for that second date…be prepared, show up as your best, the way you market yourself, the state of mind that you’re in, be calm on that date…”

Shanny: “Date conversations are important, You really want to avoid the interview questions…really expand on your answers, share experiences…also making sure you’re in a good mood, that you’re in a healthy mindset…you don’t wanna self sabotage…What are you passionate about…act like you care to get to know them…”

Cheryl: “You have one chance to make an impression…we have the technology to google a person, find out who they are, find out things that they like…when you walk in there, that’s what the dialogue should be about… the things that make them tick…the focus is very important, body language…I stand by the 45 minutes rule, I call it the predate…putting your mind in the most positive light possible…mindset is everything…”

There are all kinds of cliché dating “rules” that get tossed around in conversation, but are they really worth following?

There is no template for relationships and every person is different. We are all unique in our own ways. Every relationship moves at its own pace, so don’t feel like you have to force a specific timeline or route. When it comes to love, you have to follow your own instincts, you have to stay true to who you are as a person, never lose your identity and do what feels right to you.

You can follow me on Facebook: Cheryl Besner as I promise to keep your love life “up to date”. If you’re having a hard time dating online, need some dating advice or a helping hand, join my data base for Free: www.cherylbesner.com or simply reach out to me at 1-844-744-7656.

Cheryl xo