“Celebrating Life with my BFF’s”

“Friends, friends, friends, we will always be friends…”

Today is a special day as I ring in another year of life with five incredible women; my high school besties that I have known since the age of twelve: Joy, Phyllis, Pamela, Stephanie and Missy! I am grateful to know them and blessed to have shared so much with them over the years. I am 57 years young (GULP!), another year older and wiser! Believe it or not, I feel more energetic and alive than ever and it has a lot to do with the face that I simply LOVE my life.

This relationship blossomed from a little seed into this beautiful tree of friendship that we all planted together. We are talking about 45 years of love, of dating, of nurturing and rejuvenating and we will continue watering this relationship until death do us part, as all relationships need to be nurtured in order to grow and survive through life’s challenges.

Unanimously, the overriding consensus was that the first step in building a bond with anyone is to love who you are. This was a concept that we didn’t fathom when the six of us crammed into a cold metal cubicle in the bathroom at our local high school, hiding from the teacher on hall duty, talking about the latest boys were we “madly in love” with.

Now, we are all at different stages in our love lives. Joy and Stephanie are still happily married.  Missy is loving life a second time around with her new hubby. Pamela is content with being solo, while Phyllis is about to tie the knot again determined to get it right this time.

Cheryl: “Joy is happily married and…her husband is the only man allowed in our getaways as he makes it all happen …all the cooking, cleaning…I would still be married if I had a “Mike”…Joy: you and Mike are so connected…you are solid!”

 Joy: “He does make it all happen…we’re solid, not that we don’t fight. Fighting is part of everything right? An argument is how you deal with it, how you open it up and how you move on…and with mutual respect and understanding.”

 Cheryl: “Tomorrow…drum roll please…is Phyllis’s wedding…and that’s something for us all to learn. You never know when you’re gonna meet the right one, it’s about being open and sometimes, we have to try it a few times…I raise a glass to never giving up on love and keep doing it til you get it right.”

 Phyllis: “It’s not my first rodeo, I’ve been married a couple of times…I actually never thought I would get married again, I didn’t see the reason for it at this stage in life… but this relationship was more than that…I never gave up hope that there would be that right person for me again.”

 Although times have changed in the dating world and most dating now is online, the key is authenticity and communication. We have to be able to communicate and make sure that we focus on our lifestyle, values and goals. We have to find happiness within, appreciate what we have, surround ourselves with the right energy and people in order to attract what we need and deserve.

 Cheryl: “ My question is this, what do you think in this day and age because back then we used to sit in the locker rooms and talk about boys! Do you think the way we talk about relationships has changed since then? Do we share the same way?

 Missy: “I think from the emotional stand point nothing has changed…I just think with the internet everything has changed, the way the kids now communicate has changed completely and drastically.”

 Cheryl: “Pam is happy being on her own right now and exploring herself.”

 Pam: “I’m happy being single… and the way things are…I have my work, my children, my friends…I am really focused on myself right now.”

 Cheryl: “You were married before, but you’ve been single for a long time and your focus was raising your kids…as far as raising your kids you did it single handed on your own, so hats down to you.”

 Pamela: “I am very content with my life and appreciating the things that I have…relationships are amazing when they are right, but if you’re not in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that you have to crumble up and fall apart…we have to appreciate the good things that we have going on in our lives such as my relationships with you all.”

 Stephanie: “We have made a tremendous effort to keep up this relationship because we realize how important this particular relationship is among st all of our relationships…so we really make time to get together and really cherish this special relationship that we have! Old friends are the best friends.”

Through it all we have decided that no matter what relationship we are in romantically, we will always value our connection and continue to nurture it as you need to do so in any healthy relationship.

I have to share that I am often the one with conflict because my stage of life still includes being a full time single mom of a teenager. However, here is the key to this successful friendship that can be of valuable insight for all your relationships.

I may not always be able to attend gatherings, but my BFF’s know that I try to “prioritize” them. I may not be able to attend a dinner on a Thursday night, but I will make the effort to make it for cocktails. If it’s a day in the country, I will try and be there for at least a few hours of fun in the sun. The weekend getaways have always been the ultimate challenge for me due to my son (top priority) and my radio show on Saturday nights, but the girls know that I do whatever I can to share as much of the weekend with them as possible.

Sometimes it’s just a “cameo” as they like calling it and when I join the slumber party on the Friday night. We take advantage of every enjoyable heart wrenching, soul searching, gut busting laughing moment together. Sometimes we even do each other’s make-up or Joy cuts our hair just like the old days.

We celebrate each other and our link to the past, present and future. We accept each other without judgment and know exactly who we are individually and as a group without expectations other than to love each other.

Cheryl: “When we love our life and we love the people around us, our love lives happen because we’re complete, we’re exciting, we’re vibrant and that’s attractive to other people…so love your life.”

No matter what relationship we have been through over the years, good or bad, we learn and grow from it. The most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves. We have to own who we are, embrace where we are in life and love ourselves first. That’s when the magic happens and the romantic healthy relationship comes.

If you need any dating advice, please do not hesitate to reach out to me 1-844-744-SOLO (7656)

Cheryl xo