Hindsight is our only 20/20.

“To all those who have suffered as a consequence of our troubled past I extend my sincere thoughts and deep sympathy. With the benefit of historical hindsight we can all see things which we would wish had been done differently or not at all.” Queen ELIZABETH II

“If I only knew then what I know now”. A common phrase I am sure many of you heard growing up from one of your parents who stood there shaking their index fingers, signifying “I’m right, you are wrong”. UHG! How I am sure you hated that, and probably vowed never to do that to your own kids.

Cheryl: “There are a lot of things that I wish I knew then that I know now. The fact is times haven’t changed because when things are happening in our relationship world, it all comes down to communication, it comes down to heart, it comes down to connecting, and it comes down to acceptance and sometimes rejecting the things that we don’t want but that’s really where we come together and realize there is nothing that different than me being in my 50’s than when I was in my 20’s.”

Some lessons can be taught yet others have to come from within. People don’t change UNLESS they want to. Sometimes the biggest changes are a result of insightful reflection of our own actions. HINDsight is sometimes KINDsight as a result of INsight.

Andy: “Nobody is perfect. Regardless of your past, you can always change yourself for the better. When I started to be more positive, I started acting nicer, I felt much better about myself.”

As we mature, we come to realize that only through our experiences, both good and bad, do we learn and grow. Hopefully, from each of these encounters we recognize the “Life Lesson” and apply that gift of knowledge to the next situation.

Natasha: “I went through a period where I wasn’t feeling good about myself, so to get over this, I made a list of things I wanted to be, all in the positive and I hung it next to my mirror, and every day I would read it.”

Here is some of my Insight from those who have Hindsight offering those who need some KIND sight.

1. Not only do we have to know ourselves but we actually need to love ourselves; Me before we!

Natasha: “We are all human. It is important to be a good human. Sometimes it’s hard not to be reactive, but you don’t go anywhere when you are reacting to things all the time. You have to look at things from a different perspective. When you are negative, you attract the negative.”

2. Another person won’t make us happy.

Veronique: “The main thing you should do before getting into a relationship is to accomplish yourself personally and professionally. Both individuals have to work on themselves; you have to feel good about yourself before getting involved.”

3. Life and love do not come without some bumps and bruises.
It is up to us to look at how we could have done things differently and apply that into all our future communications and relationships.

Andy: “I was not nice in my 20’s” “As I got older, I realised I don’t want to be that person, be mean, I want to be kind, be nice , I want to share and be loving. When you are nicer, people start treating you better, your life becomes better, your dating life gets better, and all these things start getting better when I switched from seeing the world from an angrier lens instead through a much more empathetic one.”

Cheryl: “I always say this: the key to a relationship, any relationship, is to be nice. It’s the most important aspect of a relationship. You can get anything and share everything with somebody, when you are nice with them. Likes attract likes.”

I did a survey asking “What life lesson do you wish you knew earlier?” the overall consensus was to be true to living life authentically.

This week’s “Share with Cher”, Bonnie wrote “don’t try so hard to be who they think you should be that you forget who you are”.

If you wish to have some dating advice, do not hesitate to CALL 1-844-744-SOLO.

Cheryl xo