Cheryl Besner: Meet the Parents Etiquette 101

It’s the holidays, and your main squeeze has decided that it’s time to take the next step in the relationship: Having you meet the folks.

For some, this can be a time of GOOD CHEER, while for others, it’s a time of GREAT FEAR!

By keeping it simple and following my Meet the Parents etiquette guidelines, going home for the holidays will be a piece of cake… or rather, Christmas log!

1) Be your best self. Get plenty of rest the night before, and in the afternoon, meditate or take a long, hot bath. Anything that will put you in a calm frame of mind is a good idea – except for alcohol, which is the last thing you should consider!  You don’t get another chance to make that first impression.

2) Bring a gift. It doesn’t matter if your partner tells you they have it covered – the basic rule is to never show up empty-handed! If flowers are your gift of choice, send them in advance or bring an arrangement, as it can be difficult for the host or hostess to look after loose flowers in the midst of everything else they have to do!

A side note: When you arrive at the front door, follow the lead of your host. People greet guests in many different ways. If they reach out a hand, shake it. If it’s a hug, embrace it! If it’s a double-cheek kiss, remember: RIGHT cheek first.

3) Maintain eye contact when speaking with everyone. This should be standard practice wherever you go, but it’s especially important here, when parents are trying to size you up. Above all else, they want to be assured that you are honest and good for their child.

4) Listen to the person you are conversing with. To allow someone to speak is to show interest in what they have to say. Just like on a first date, ask questions and let the other person talk more.

5) Dress to impress. You can ask for the dress code, but even if your partner tells you to dress casually, opt for safe choices.  Show respect for the holiday and for your hosts (which means NO jeans!) Dress pants with a button-down shirt and sports jacket are always appropriate for men, while for ladies, a simple, classic dress will never be out of place.

6) NO PDA! Especially if you have children from a previous relationship, you do not want to be all over each other. Discreet gestures, like resting your hand on your partner’s shoulder or softly caressing their hand, show you care about each other while still being tasteful. The family doesn’t need to know that the two of you have an amazing sex life – and don’t think that standing under the mistletoe gives you the green light, either!

7) Offering to help shows that you are a willing and able partner who will share responsibility, take care, and support the people around you. Every parent’s dream for their kids!

Now, go enjoy the moment and remember to breathe! Parents simply want to love the person whom their child loves.

– Cheryl xo