The F Word: Avoiding the Friends Zone
It can be a terrifying term. The F Word: Friends. It’s probably the worst word you can hear when you want to be more than just that with the opposite sex.
It’s simple. The ‘friend zone’ refers to a situation where one person wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. This zone issue occurs in relationships when both individuals’ emotional needs are not met. It can also occur when someone is ’emotionally unavailable’ — but that is a topic for an entire other blog.
It’s amazing how many people get stuck in this mysterious and tricky zone. So how do we know if we’ve entered “THE FRIEND ZONE” and better yet, how do we avoid it?
Sometimes it’s not easy to determine where you stand at the very beginning of a relationship. But one thing is for sure, you know if you are physically attracted to the other person. That’s the easy part. The more difficult part is knowing if the feelings are mutual and if they are attracted to you. If there is no spark, sexual chemistry or undeniable lust, chances are the attraction is one-sided and the other person will receive nothing in return. This means you have officially entered the friend zone. I know, it sucks.
Finding the right counterpart is also an important factor in avoiding friends territory. People who end up in a relationship usually are a good match with each other on many levels; similar interests, qualities, level of attractiveness, etc. People who don’t mesh or connect may just be too dissimilar and may never have a satisfying relationship.
Look for someone who has similar interests and who you can relate to. I’ve always believed, and learned through experience, that opposites really don’t attract.
Another reason people enter this zone is that they are too afraid to have the discussion. Being upfront and communicative about your ‘status’ will help you steer clear of any confusion. Be completely straightforward with your intentions. This will indicate if you’re both on the same page or not.
There cannot be anything worse than one person developing romantic feelings for another, while the other just sees you as a “best bud.” My advice is to not let it develop that far. Ignite the conversation. You definitely can spare yourself some heartache or that dreaded and confusing question: “Where do I stand?”
In the end, getting stuck in the friend zone can be completely avoided. It takes some honesty and investment in the relationship and in yourself to figure it out. Be true to yourself and to the other person. You deserve to get what you need out of a relationship and you never have to just settle for the F Word.
– Lisa xo
