One never knows when an opportunity to support someone while guiding them to see their inner strength will present itself but as a coach, my eyes and ears are always open to seizing the moment… Carpe Diem!

It doesn’t matter the age of the person or the circumstance of the situation as you will soon discover from this story I am about to share.

It all started on a recent family outing by the water in Knowlton Quebec on a beautifully sunny summer day. 

We decided to use a rickety picnic table as a home base where we could later spread out our festive feast fit for the royalty when we realized we needed two thrones for out parents…the king and queen of our hearts.

I noticed off in the distance some empty Adirondack chairs that would suit our purpose perfectly and my little nephew trotted off happily to help me carry them back. I went to grab one of the armrests while he went towards the front and started wrestling with all his might to pick up the chair by himself to no avail. As determined as he was the fact remained that his size posed a challenge in being able to reach around to the back (due to the depth of the seat), lift the heavy chair up in front of him and be able to walk forward. Before he got completely frustrated I decided it was time Auntie Cheryl became Coach Cheryl.

ENTER LIFE LESSON OF THE DAY…. I felt I had two options:

I could have explained to him the challenge that lay before him. Why there was no way he could physically move the bulky chair on his own in that manner. I would have then said “let’s find of away that we could do this together” maybe offer one solution – Like each taking aside while allowing him the chance to suggest an alternative way for this to be done. 

Learning how to problem solve in a group setting is a valuable skill.  


                                “Give a man a fish, feed home for a day.

                                  Teach a man to fish, feed for a lifetime”


I decided to take the time to show him an alternative way to pick the chair up that would allow him to walk with it. I made no promises that it would work but that if he was willing to try I believed he would succeed. I knew he had the desire to accomplish the goal and the strength to lift the chair which was half the battle.  

I explained that in order to accomplish this task the mission was to get the chair up over his head instead of carrying it in front which would allow space for his legs to move freely.  I then walked him through each step. How to bend his knees, reach to the back grabbing each side of the frame and all at once stand up and swing the chair overhead. I demonstrated the motion while he practiced alongside me a couple of times and then with a deep breath filled with purpose and strength he reached down… one, two, three he was up, pumped and moving at full speed towards his grandparents…beaming with pride.

Learning how to be competent at any task takes a belief in your inner self and knowing you have the strength to go for what you want, take risks without fear of failure and regardless of the outcome.  

Sometimes our instinct is to help someone physically which comes from great intention however if I had gone with the first option next time this big little man would not have known how to move the mountainous chair. He realized his own capability which will only be built more confidence when the next life challenge arises.


If you have any relationship or dating questions I am here to support you 24/7 at 844-744-SOLO (7656).

Keep Dancing Through Life With Grace And Ease,


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Cheryl Besner