“Closing the Gap”

 

Times have changed and the dating world seems a lot more challenging with all the available dating apps, the choices, the swiping, the button clicking, and this new “hook up” culture. Now added to the relationship statuses are: it’s complicated, it’s casual, “situationship”…Oh boy, what’s that? Unclear situations with someone…sigh!

When thinking of entering a relationship, many get cold feet and nervous about the idea of commitment and the vulnerability that it may involve for opening up to someone.

Cheryl: “It’s definitely becoming more and more difficult with relationships …this hook up generation…how do we close the gap in all relationships…how do people communicate now…how do you get around it?”

Ashley: “You don’t really get around it…We got lucky because we got introduced in a natural setting…I’m not really familiar with the whole hook up culture, I don’t really use dating apps…”

Miro: “We’re lucky …we’re both doing the same thing…our work is almost our relationship…we’re on the same page when it comes to our career…Ash knows my career is everything and she wants me to be the best in my field and I feel the same way about her, I want the same for her… we get inspired together…that’s our relationship.”

When you’re ready and want a serious relationship, in order to make it successful, it’s important to allow yourself to give it a real shot, despite the risks of putting yourself out there.

Cheryl: “If you love your life, your love life is gonna happen, because you’re doing the things that you love, even in business…I love what I do for work…so meeting people through that avenue is almost natural…”

Ashley: “We’re always pushing each other to reach a new height when it comes to our talent and work related success.”

Putting those walls up, protecting your heart against failure or pain of a potential breakup may be a safe choice, but it sure limits your availability and a chance of finding true love and happiness.

We simply can’t selectively choose the feelings that we want to experience a fulfilling relationship and the ones we don’t, as the highs and lows are all part of it.  As long as we know our lifestyle, values and goals before getting to know someone seriously, we’re on the right track.

Cheryl: “This is the important part for couples to really grasp…supporting each other, encouraging each other and really pushing each other to reach your individual goals…that’s what stops people sometimes, because they’re afraid the other person is gonna hold them back…”

What’s holding people back today? The younger generation seems less interested in investing in relationships and more accepting of the “hook up” culture. Does being tied to someone prevent one from reaching their goals? I certainly don’t believe that as having a relationship alongside career or life goals is quite possible and attainable if you’re with the right partner.

Miro: “A lot of people in their 20’s, early 30’s…we don’t see having kids, a house like our parents as our actual dreams…we have bigger aspirations, we see things on social media, people doing amazing things…our minds are open, more focused on that and at the same time it’s causing friction when it comes to settling down and having a partner…”

Ashley: “It’s probably easier for people to settle with a hook up culture while they’re building their dream…it’s easier to not attach yourself to someone else…because it’s not everybody who can find someone to help them achieve their goals…”

If we allow ourselves to embrace the entire experience of commitment, we can then begin to explore what it takes for a soul-fulfilling relationship with a meaningful shared purpose.

Cheryl: “You have to allow each other to go in their direction and support that, because the most beautiful thing you give to each other is the space, to be everything you need to be in that relationship…I see a lot with the younger generation, they say…I need to focus on my career, I wanna reach my goals…but the fact is you can do both as long as you are both of the same mindset…you can succeed and build a relationship.”

Miro: “Constantly people come up to us…you’re relationship goals, you’re the ideal couple…we own it but when we see a lot of our friends are still in that hook up phase…we feel like we can be the representation of people who genuinely love each other, who support each other, who want to build a strong foundation…we wanna be the trendsetters of that.”

Often, people feel that they have to give something up, mostly give themselves up to be in a relationship. So by keeping their status “free” of any title is the easy way out of assuming responsibility for someone or having to share their time in full with someone. So they invest themselves occasionally or “part time”.

Cheryl: “I think what happens and I see it in younger generations and even the different generations that fear is there…what do I have to give up…and I know you can’t get around the social media but it’s what you do as you approach it to either say, I have all these tools available to me…I could keep going because there’s so much information or do I slow down and see what’s right  in front of me and focus on that…that’s the key while we reach our goals.”

To create the relationship that you want, you need to deepen the relationship with yourself and clear your mindset from some obstacles or past experiences that may blur your vision of future relationships and beliefs. Everybody has to own themselves in a relationship.

As we grow our skills to stay connected to our self and cultivate the courage to really be who we are, we begin to be and live as our half of the relationship that we desire and need.

Cheryl: “In any relationship, I think that you should date each other forever…so when I talk about dating, it’s not just somebody new, it’s someone that you could be in a relationship with…”

Ashley: “We both have something to learn from each other…we’re two individuals who came together and who decided to really be a team and partner up…that’s how we grow.”

Miro: “In order to receive, you have to give…”

Cheryl: “When you meet that person, you find the time, it happens and everybody in relationships is busy…but you make that free time, and when you’re in the relationship, you have to make that free time, so that you stay in that relationship, cause if you stop…that’s when the disconnect starts to happen…or you decide you’re not getting the things that you need, so let’s close the gap…”

It all comes down to what YOU really want for your love life. If you really know and own who you are, that you’re clear about your life goals, you can make it all happen and create that balanced life that you wish to live as you are in charge of your life and “closing that gap”.

I welcome you to follow me on Face Book: Cheryl Besner & Co to keep your love life “up to date” as I will always be there to help you reach your relationship goals.

If you need any dating advice, please do not hesitate to reach out to me 1-844-744-SOLO (7656)

Cheryl xo