“Poetry of Love”

When we think of a love poem we usually think of a melodic flow where each word has a deep seeded message and every second sentence rhymes leaving our hearts and minds feeling warm, as if we have just received a warm embrace by a loving soul.

For some however, that poetic love does not come as easily as the love so deeply desired by an individual and can be fought off by the fear of rejection, which can often stem back to childhood.

Our relationship with ourselves and how we interact with others is shaped early on in childhood and we continue building on that foundation. Studies show our emotional being is formed between 0-14 and that programming runs our life from there on. So if that child existed in a world of insecurities and fears, thus does the adult.

Enter the existence of “The inner child” and until we make a conscious decision to face our pain and heal the issues of our childhood, we will keep repeating patterns and some may not be serving us well and may be holding us back. As adults, we live life by reacting to the scars that we suffered during childhood and we adapt our behavior based on those emotional wounds, our protection. That damaged inner child is what will hold us back from living the life we want… we desire…we deserve!

Healing our inner child is about healing the past and can be quite challenging.

Cheryl: “The inner child is a very special part of us…its’ all the things that happened to you from when you’re born till around fourteen (puberty) that can really form who you are as an adult and you can carry those things forward.” 

Living life in reaction to old wounds and emotional scars disables us from finding true happiness and fulfillment in life. It is simply dysfunctional and prevents us from growth as we continue to live in fear. What is life without learning, growing and evolving? Therefore, we need to stop judging ourselves, based on bitter past experiences as that is living in the past as a fragile and wounded soul.

Philip: “The inner child really starts from the moment we’re conceived… we grow and we’ve been downloaded all sorts of information… we’ve been bombarded by every feeling, emotion experience… and sometimes, it leaves us in a very vulnerable stage.”

It is through healing our inner child, by grieving, embracing and nurturing the wounds that we have suffered from, that we are really able to change our behavior patterns and clear our emotional process. We can release the grief by facing our inner child that exists within us and slowly, lovingly make peace with ourselves. We have to become the nurturing, protective parent so that our inner child feels safe enough to come out and play.

Cheryl: “When we come out of relationships…for a lot of people, before they can move forward, they really have to go back and heal that inner child. The inner child that’s hurt wants to keep us safe and block certain things that we don’t want to happen again, but the nurturing part is when we take care of ourselves and then we allow ourselves to heal.”

When we emerge healed, we are also then free. It is then that we can embrace being vulnerable, an important aspect of feeling confident and secure as individuals but also important in our love relationships.

Philip: “The key word is to allow ourselves to heal because so many people will be stuck and feel stuck in the pain, because they don’t feel they deserve or believe that they are even worthy of healing or of love itself.”

Our broken hearts, emotional scars and wounded minds cause us to abandon ourselves. If we lock those feelings in a dark place within us and abandon our inner child, we let those wounds dictate our lives and that is simply toxic. It is by releasing the anxiety associated with the past that we can allow joy to flow in our life.

Philip: “You know that you’re in that right space within yourself, when you do feel grounded and you feel peaceful…there’s always struggle, every relationship good, bad or ugly goes through struggle… but to be able to be at peace of surrendering to that inner child…you gotta be kind and talk to your inner child, it’s really important to be kind, be caring, be loving and be nurturing.”

We have to own the child who we once were in order to love the person that we have become today. The best way to achieve that is to claim the experiences that we have lived through our life journey, acknowledge those feelings we had as a child and release any grief that we may still be carrying, that are really weighing us down. This is how to really move forward to our higher self.

We are able to feel things without allowing ourselves to be victims of those emotions. The mind can be our worst enemy and take control of us, but it is always possible to change the way we think and not allow our mind to take control of us.

Philip: “…Never lose traces of love nor hope, keep the door open, don’t throw away the key, I pray surely love will surprise you one special day.” 

You have to be true to yourself. Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for any relationship that you will invest in. You have to be able to own who you are and love yourself before loving anyone else.

“It all starts from doing the things you love, doing the things that you believe in and taking things that are around you and appreciating it and that’s what’s going to ultimately attract the same like, because we do wanna mirror each other, we do want somebody who mirrors are values, our lifestyles and our goals.”

Love your life and your love life will happen   …To both or you, your inner child and the adult you have become.  Note … the inner child lives in us forever … give that child a playground of happiness to frolic in!

There are many books that you can search online to read more on this topic. You can check out “Healing the child within” by Kelly Wallace.

If you need any dating advice, please do not hesitate to reach out to me 1-844-744-SOLO (7656)

Cheryl xo