Building the Perfect Online Dating Profile

We are now living in an age dominated by social media. Gone are the days where fate and timing were the sole deciding factors whether you would find your future mate. Almost everything in our lives seems to be making that transition to the online realm, including our dating lives. The question now is – with online dating, how do you construct the perfect profile, vet your ideal match and date efficiently? Keep it locked as we break down the basics to online dating.

Cheryl: “There shouldn’t be pressure. Dating is supposed to be fun, online is a way to get to dating”

Carmelia: “The attitude about online dating is very different to people. Everything about what you said about online dating being overwhelming, hesitation about being in view of the public eye. These are all daily dating dilemmas.”

1. It’s all in the Username

Choose a username that is a good reflection of your personality, something you can identify with and something that stands out from the rest.

Carmelia: “A smart and clever username makes it easy to stand out in a sea of people. You have to be careful not to use usernames that detracts like, LonelyInToronto or CantGetADate201 or a generic name like TorontoManABC”

Pick a username that stands out and provides an Icebreaker for your first conversation.

Cheryl: “Before I was a matchmaker/dating coach, I was a divorced woman. I went on match.com and my username was “vodka cocktail” because it happens to be what I like to drink. So it was an easy thing for a gentlemen to invite me out for a drink”

2. Pick the perfect Picture

Not only is a picture worth a million words but it is your first impression in the online world. Your profile picture fits perfectly with the saying that “you only get one shot at a first impression”. If you only get one shot, you better make it count!

Cheryl: “Pick 2-3 pictures maximum and let them say something about yourself. First, a great headshot. Second, take a body shot that shows you doing an activity you love”

What are some best practices for choosing the perfect profile picture? Avoid being overtly sexualized. NO NUDES.

Carmelia: “The shirtless selfie is TMI. A little cleavage is okay ladies, but your entire bosom is a no no. Choose a picture that reflects the the type of relationship you are looking for. Less is more”

Next, you want to keep it relevant, taken within the past 3-6 months. Profile pictures must reflect the person you are in the current moment. Avoid being a “Pinochio”.

Carmelia: “I’ve heard horror stories of dates where the photo does not reflect who the person is. A picture of you 10 years ago in your best shape is not a reflection of who you are currently”

Cheryl: “Don’t be a pinochio. Show who you are online. We are not here to be pen pals and if you want to meet and have a relationship, show who you are”

The last two things to avoid. First, Group pictures with multiple people in a shot. Second, pictures with your children present.

Cheryl: “No no to multiple people in a photo. Which one in the group are you? (…) And, if you have children, the children do not belong in your online dating pictures. We protect our children and they are not part of our dating world. It should be between you and the people you want to meet. You can mention your children in your description but keep them out of the photo.”

3. Writing Your Bio

When writing your bio, you want to ensure not to make it too long, get to the point, make it fun, flirty and interesting. Also, positivity is key. Avoid making a list of things you are not looking for.

Cheryl: “Have your friend write your bio, it will be unbiased and appreciative.”

When you write your bio, it is important to know yourself. Before you can date someone else, you must date yourself.

Carmelia: “Who are you? Dating uncovers stuff about ourselves we don’t know. Writing and creating the bio is a good reflection process. Rather than writing and listing off traits, it’s better to tell a story. This method is more effective and gives a better sense of what it is like to be with you as a person. You could also interview your friends and feature their feedback ‘my friends describe me as such and such…’”

Be creative. Make your bio a story. Engage your potential mate and make your profile jump off the page.

Cheryl: “I like to be creative about it. A picture can bounce off a screen, one of my clients I work with, is a chef. When I read her bio, it was very rudimentary. I asked her what she loves to do and she responded with how she loves to cook. We based her whole bio based on that she loves to cook and we told the story from there.”

When writing your bio, keep it simple. Share your story, what you want people to know about you and what is important in your life.

4. How to Vet

After creating the perfect profile, how do you weed out your matches to find the ideal mate?

Cheryl: “The next thing is, and this is the thing people have a lot of problems doing, weed through the responses.”

Carmelia: “The vetting process works in two ways – any attractive man or woman/someone with a great profile will receive a lot of responses. How do you deal and manage with it? Rather than being responsive to all messages – respond by searching what you’re attracted to”

Avoid quantity over quality. You want to ask yourself what you want, what you don’t want and what you’re looking for. Respond to those who fit your check-list rather than responding to every person who comes through your inbox.

Cheryl: “When we walk into a room, we send messages through our eyes and body language. We send clear messages ‘I like you’. It’s the same for online dating.”

Most importantly, take sufficient time out of your day to read and clear through your inbox. You take time for work and exercise. Setting an hour a day aside for love, is taking “you time”.

Carmelia: “5 minutes is not enough, make the commitment and set time aside”

5. Date Efficiently

Taking the time to date is time consuming and costly. Efficiency and effectiveness is key in the online dating game. The number tip for dating efficiently, ensure you stick to the 45-minute rule and schedule multiple dates in one day. This increases your efficiency, date practice and allows you to tailor your own speed dating day.

Cheryl: “When you’re online dating, take a day where you can relax. When you meet people you want to be in your best self. Make a few dates in the same day, it’s like making your own speed date. So you get dressed once. You meet four people in one day and you can decide at the end of the day who makes it to the second round.”

These are the fundamentals to building the perfect profile and achieving love at first site. We will leave you with a little tidbit from “Share with Cher”. Don’t forget to follow your certified dating coach and Matchmaker, Cheryl Besner on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

Online respondent to Share with Cher: “Dating is like anything else in life, you meet nice people who inspire you, who use you, it helped me get emotionally stronger and recognize the goodness – it’s all about how you look at things”

If you want dating advice do not hesitate to CALL 1-844-744-SOLO
Cheryl xo.