Lisa Fuoco: Ghosting – A Common Dating Trend

Ghosting. You may or may not have heard of this fitting term that has become so familiar to the dating scene.

Ghosting is the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone you have been dating or hanging out with, and simply vanishing without a trace. The “ghoster” no longer wishes to continue with the “ghostee.” This is done in hopes that the other person simply “gets the hint.”

Words that may come to mind are inconsiderate, rude, and immature. But many people are participating in this ghosting trend, rather than just telling the other person that he/she is just no longer interested. For “the ghoster,” it’s easier to disappear then actually have a real conversation about how they feel.

I get it, you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. But in the end, it results in leaving that person confused and wondering what they did wrong. Is it the easy way out? Sure. But it doesn’t constitute for a good enough reason to just… disappear.

Ghosting is not specific to gender or even to the amount of time you’ve spent together. It is, however, directly related to one’s maturity level and communication skills. While many don’t condone ghosting, that doesn’t seem to influence whether they’ll do it to someone else.

I’m the first to admit, it has happened to me. It’s not exactly a fun moment when you realize that someone you’ve spent some quality time with has just dismissed you. There isn’t a worse feeling then being “ghosted” by someone you were totally into.

There is no doubt about it, it isn’t a new trend. I’m sure it’s been happening for centuries. But in today’s modern age of dating, we talk about it, vent about it and are inevitably frustrated by it.

My advice is: Don’t feel bad if it happens to you (yes, easier said than done!) Don’t question your actions – it’s not about you, it’s completely about them. Move on and, as they say in French, “Suivant-next!”

– Lisa xo